Easter Signs, 2020

Jammed Singer, Damned Masks 2020 Photo by ERSwett

Last week,
I'd had enough.
While attempting to
make masks, my sewing
machine jammed, a sure sign
that it was time to stop, and when I
tried to stitch the outline of a photograph of
myself onto that silk dress I've been
working on for a year,
it was a mess.

The Misshapen Hand Photo by ERSwett

I was done.
We'd been home
together for almost a
month and I was frazzled. So
first I took myself for a walk and
called my sister. Then, when I got home,
I made pizza, got out some wine and shared
my exhaustion. "What can we do?" my son asked.
How cool is that? We then created a plan for who would
cook which night; We talked about Mom's limits...
and there are many. And, by the end of the
meal we got it - We are definitely in
this whole weird Covid-19
thing together.

Pizza Dinner with Wine & Good King Henry, 2020 Photo by ERSwett

Even
so, I still felt
untethered on Easter,
so went for another walk, but
longer this time, and wondered if I would
experience any signs to guide me,
this being a mystical time
and all...and sure
enough...

The People's Car, 2020 Photo by ERSwett

First,
there was
this VW hubcap
just sitting on the railing.
VW - Volkswagon - A car for
People. OK. Got it. One reason this
crisis is so hard to manage is that it impacts
all of us, but some more than others.
Actively helping those in need
doesn't feel like enough.
There it is, that nasty
need to do more,
always do
​more.

Rusted Iron on West Wheelock Street, 2020 Photo by ERSwett

Next, 
this rusted
handrail, unloved
and imperfect, but still
able to provide support. To me
its textures and shadows are captivating
and reassuring. Perhaps this time is forcing me
to confront my own perfect imperfections
and celebrate this undeniable fact
that I can't not see beauty
even in worn out
things.

Water Management, Dartmouth College, 2020 Photo by ERSwett

And then
there was this
green sandbag with
its mate up the hill -- one
a snake, the other a donut. They
clearly serve a purpose, having something
to do with water management, but there in the woods,
coming up from the Connecticut River, they
seemed so strange. The first bright
green on this early
​spring day.

Blue New York Times, 2020 Photo by ERSwett

At this
point, my walk
had become it's own
kind of Easter Egg Hunt, but
instead of colorful eggs, I  found random
objects, each of which felt like a
sign, because I was on a
search and there
they were.

Pink Ribbon, Pine Park 2020 Photo by ERSwett

This pink
ribbon, so bright
on the forest floor, but
there, communicating something
to someone, perhaps even to me -- Beware,
I'm here - Don't trip? But instead, I got tripped up by these
mysterious marks on the trees. Are they part
of some game, or do they have
great significance? 

The more
strange markings
I witnessed, the more
amused I became. Here I was
hoping for 'a sign' and I got way more
than I bargained for. Is it true that Signs, of
the mystical kind with a capital "S," are only as
meaningful as we make them?  Signs appear because
​we look for them when we need them. In this
case, it seems, all these colorful signs were
merely there to remind me that I am
in control of how I interpret not
just these markings, but
this crazy time
​as well.​

The Green Poop Bag, Hanover Golf Course, 2020 Photo by ERSwett

And then,
when I emerged
from the woods and was
on my way home, this green doggy
poop bag was swinging in the wind on these
bright red twigs. Really? Clearly this is
a sign that sometimes there
are just weird things
blowing in the
wind.

Co-Exist, 2020 Photo by ERSwett

Maybe
it's just that
simple. I am being
asked to co-exist not just
with my immediate family, but
with the all of it -- the mysteries & the
uncomfortable realities of being
human on a planet that is
struggling to support
us. In the midst
of it all,
I seek meaning
and relevance. It's why I
take photographs. It's why I share
my work and my ideas on this blog. Because
for me, it's spiritual. Just as there is power in the way
compost emerges as nutrient rich soil, there is power in
showing up & trying to make sense of ourselves
and our circumstances, with all our
abundant and colorful
imperfections.

Beets & Lettuce, 2020 Photo by ERSwett